(I swiped this from a friend's Facebook page. It's spot on.  We have become completely ridiculous.)

Scenario 1:

Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.

1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.


Scenario 2:

Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2007 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged them with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.


Scenario 3:

Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.

1957 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.


Scenario 4:

Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.

2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist..


Scenario 5:

Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school..

1957 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock

2007 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.


Scenario 6:

Pedro fails high school English.

1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.

2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist.. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.


Scenario 7:

Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.

1957 - Ants die.

2007 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents -- and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.


Scenario 8:

Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing..

2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

We have gotten accustomed to Parker throwing things down the stairs:  empty bottles, clothes, toys, blanket, books.  He doesn't discriminate.  If he can pick it up, he will chuck it down the stairs.

Last night, we told the kids to get ready for bed.  Stewart ran into his playroom to get a book to read for his pre-bed quiet time.  Parker took off after him.  Bill and I sank down and relaxed a little more.  We were sitting in bed watching the Olympics.  It didn't really phase me when I heard the familar thump, thud, thump, thud, thump thud.  I was trying to figure out what he threw down the stairs because it didn't sound hard, and it wasn't making the soft plushy sound of a stuffed animal.  I realized what the thump thud thump thud was the same time that Bill jumped out of bed and started running towards the stairs, which was the same time that Stewart ran into our room screaming, "PARKER!  PARKER!  HE FELL DOWN THE STAIRS!!!!"  By the time we got to the stairs, Parker had thumped his way all the way to the bottom of the stairs.  He was crying but he had started to crawl back up.  Bill scooped him up and was comforting him.  I looked over to accuse Stewart of pushing Parker (they have been having little brother arguments lately) but Stewart was visably shaken.  I kneeled down to hug him and to thank him for telling us about Parker's accident and my sweet little Stewart started to cry.  He was upset and I think seeing his brother tumble down the stairs really scared him.

We aren't quite sure how it happened but we think it involved the throwing of dirty laundry down the stairs.  The first time Parker took a tumble down the stairs, he lost his balance while trying to throw his favorite blanket down.  He is so tough.  He falls down the stairs (our stairs are oak with no carpeting) and even though he was scared and hurt and crying, he started crawling his way back up the stairs.  That's Parker.  He is tough.  His little body is all fine, no horrible bumps, bruises, scrapes, or cuts.  He just has a little nickel sized bruise on his cheek.

Parker is tough and it is going to take more than a fall down the stairs to get him down.

Stewart is sweet and sensitive and he loves his little brother.  

I am a very lucky mommy to have such wonderful little boys.

 

It shouldn't be a surprise to anyone that we have received a ton of snow in Charles Town.  The kids have been out of school since the 5th, and Bill has been home for a few days here and there. 

1.     I had no idea that Parker and I had a routine until Stewart and dad interrupted it.  I knew that I liked to go to the gym after we got Stewart on the bus.  But I didn't realize how disruptive it was to not be able to maintain that same schedule.  I get up in the morning and I go.  I don't need to sit around and drink a cup of coffee, and read the newspaper (does anyone still do that other than my dad!?) or watch the news.  I like to get up, get dressed, and go to the gym.  I usually don't eat or drink anything.  I just like to go.  But the weather has caused the kids' clubhouse to be closed at the gym so I'm forced to go in the afternoon, when it opens at 4:30 or not go at all.  I don't like the changes in my schedule - especially when I do not necessarily want the change.

2.     I stocked up the fridge and the pantry.  I feel like I have been cooking for an army - three meals a day, every day.  I'm kinda tired of cooking.  I'm tired of having to think of something to make.  I hope I am not burned out (no pun intended!) because I think cooking is my one hobby, the one thing I think I am good at.  Buti am just a little fatigued from all of the cooking that has to be done when four people are trapped inside a house for days and days and days and days.  Today we got some sandwiches from Jersey Mike's.  I don't know if it was because I didn't have to cook or if I really wanted a sandwich - but that was the best damn sandwich I have ever had.  It's one of the few things that everyone in the house will eat.  Parker has become the most picky eater - he's a non eater.  He hardly eats anything.  I have started giving him a nutritional supplement.  He eats cheese, crackers, sometimes cereal, sometimes scrambled eggs, rice, noodles, and chicken tenders.  I remember Stewart went through phases where he wouldn't eat hardly anything, and then he went through a phase where he would eat anything, and he's back to being a picky eater.  Sometimes I just want to say, "Just FN eat!   I'm not a restaurant!"  I am so tired of making 3 dinners or trying to customize dinner in hopes that they will eat what I make.

3.     Parker is a very funny little boy.  He is trying soo hard to talk.  Sometimes he just rambles on and on and on - and you know he thinks he is talking.  He thinks he is saying something but it's not real actual words.  Its sounds - and it's really cute.  It's cute because he has that adorable little baby voice and because you can see that he is trying so hard.  Holly said she has decided that Parker is an old man trapped in a baby body, and he doesn't like being trapped in this baby body.  It's true.  This is just another example of him being an old man in a baby body.

4.     Shoveling snow sucks.  I don't think it's ever really a good time but it sucks more when you are trying to remove 40+ inches of snow from the driveway and the walkway and porch.  It's made more miserable when it doesn't stop snowing.  When you are outside, shoveling your little heart out and when you get down to the end of the walkway, and you look back at your work and you can't tell that you did anything, when everything is still covered in white - that sucks.  I have some stupid shoulder pain that is aggrivated by this class that I like to take at the gym.  It's also aggrivated by shoveling snow.  But when you can't get out of the house to go to the gym, shoveling snow is exercise.

5.     Part I - Knit loungey pants are not adequate for spending an hour outside shoveling snow.  I don't really have proper snow attire.  We don't go skiing and I just know that as soon as the entire family gets suited up - it will never snow again.  So i don't have snow pants.  But it doesn't stop me from joining the boys outside or from aiding in the snow removal.  My favorite lounge pants are cropped black knit pants.  They are loose and soft and I love them.  So I tucked them into my rain boots (because I also don't own snow boots) and I threw on a hat, a scarf, gloves, and a jacket and set off to try to shovel off the deck.  I had a few things motivating me.  #1.  I needed to get out of the house before I went crazy on someone.  #2 I also needed to get some exercise.  #3 Bill and I were starting to get concerned about the weight of the snow and how it would affect our deck.  #4 (most importantly) I wanted Bill to grill a steak for me on Valentine's day.  Some of you have been to the house and you know where the grill sets on the deck - as far from the door as it could possibly be!  So me, looking cute in my hat and matching red and white-ness with my lame black knit pants on - i stepped out onto the deck.  It was deep.  You've seen the pictures.  I shoveled and shoveled and I made a nice path from the door over to the section of the deck with the grill.  I cleared off the snow from that whole section.  I made a nice walkway to the grill.  But it took me at least an hour.  I remember thinking at one point that I was impressed with my lame knit pants - they weren't wet despite being covered in snow and my legs weren't cold. 

6.     Part II - The body is an amazing thing.  There I am, out there in single digit wind chill temperatures, all proud of myself for shovling so much snow and for doing it for an hour.  And I was surprisingly not cold.  Until I went inside.  It was really weird.  As soon as I stepped inside I was freezing cold and my feet started itching like crazy (which i assume had something to do with blood flow) but my legs were bright red and numb.  I put my hands on my legs - my hands registered that they were super super cold - but my leg did not feel my hands' touch.  It was weird.  It was a moment where I only knew there was a hand on my leg because it was my own hand and my hand was telling my brain how cold my leg was.  Despite feeling so warm outside, my body was cold.  My hands were cold, my feet and legs were cold - and my face was cold.  It was actually my numb and cold face that signled to my brain that I should go in.  Stewart was waving at me from the window and I was trying to smile back at him - but my face was numb and as much as I thought I was, I couldn't feel my face smiling at him.  It took me HOURS - like THREE HOURS to warm up.  My legs remained cold for much longer than my hands and face and feet.

7.     Pay it forward - When we had the big snow in December, one of our neighbors got their 4dw truck stuck in the ditch in front of our next door neighbor's house.  I volunteered Bill's big strongness to help get them out.  And it just dawned on me today that you tend to help out your neighbors in extreme situations.  And the other day, when I had the adventure where I ended up walking home before I got offered the ride - everyone was trying to help each other.  No one seemed put out or irritated - it just seemed like the right thing to do.  Another example, Monday we were coming home from going to the gym and getting some lunch - we were getting off rt 9, and there was a guy stuck at the top of the off ramp.  So Bill got out and helped him.  We could have easily gone around him - but it only took a few seconds for him to get out and help push the guy out. 

8.     Part I - I don't really appreciate things until I don't have them or until there is a threat of losing them.  Our cable and internet was out all day Saturday.  I never really think of us as a family that watches a lot of tv - but the tv is always on in the back ground.  The internet - that's a different story.  Bill and I are both enrolled in online classes - I can't turn in assignments or do research when i can't get online!  How can I check facebook, email, upload pictures, download music?????  It was kindeve refreshing.  Sometimes I wish we would turn off the TV more - and I enjoyed not having it on.  Had it been longer than 24 hours, I might not have enjoyed it as much.  The biggest problem with our cable being down - I never knew what time it was.  With cable box in every room, we don't have separate clocks in every room.  The cable box displays the time front and center but when the cable is out - it read 12:00 until the cable is back up.  I had a huge fear of the electricity going out.  That would leave us with no light, no heat, no cooking, no creature comforts that spoil us on a daily basis.  of course we would have survived, and it may have been a big fun adventure but I'm glad we didn't have to find out.  Bill and I would have been fine - but I always worry about the kids.  I'm always worried about them being cold, or thirsty, or hungry, or bored.  Having no power would have left them very cold, hungry, and bored.

9.     Part II - I don't like being stuck in the house.  I like things like freedom and independence.  I like being able to get in the car so I can drive up to McDonalds and get the kids a happy meal.  i like being able to drive up to the gym, work up a sweat, burn calories, and then i really enjoy sitting in the sauna for 30 minutes and reading a book.  But when the roads are crap and the weather is crap and the snow isn't stopping - I am forced to be housebound.  I am trapped.  I am a prisoner.  i don't like having 5 gallons of milk in the fridge because I couldn't go up to the store to get more if we needed it.  I just like being able to get out and I can't do so in this weather.

10.     Snow is really pretty - up to about 14 inches.  It becomes less pretty as you can see it STACKING up in strata against the windows.  When all you can see when you look outside is pure beautiful white blanketing the neighborhood, the field behind the house, the entire landscape is covered in white.  Snow is not pretty when there is so much of it that you become concerned with the integirty of your roof, of the deck - when someone tells you a story about snow sliding off the roof of their house and going through the windshield of their car.  When the snow is too deep to walk to the sledding hill, when it's too deep for me to carry Parker out in the back to play, when each step is trying to suck my boot off my foot, when you take a step and you don't know how far you are going to sink down (a few inches in packed snow, 40 inches in unpacked snow).  And there is no end in sight.  The forecast shows snow on Monday and Thursday of next week.  I need Stewart to get back to school.  I need to be able to get out and go somewhere if I so desire.  I's just too much!

Another great recipe from America's Test Kitchen.  I'm telling you - they don't disappoint.  Their recipes are delicious and they are simple to make.  This one is good.  The crust is really crunchy and the chicken is tender and juicy.  The wing sauce is just spicy enough but not too spicy (I used Frank's hot sauce.)

http://www.cookscountry.com/recipe.asp?recipeids=5394&bdc=64728&Extcode=L0BN1BA00

Boneless Buffalo Chicken
2/2009

In step 3, the fried chicken pieces can be held in a 200-degree oven for 30 minutes before being tossed with the sauce. A relatively mild cayenne pepper-based hot sauce, like Frank’s, is essential; avoid hotter sauces like Tabasco. If desired, serve with our Creamy Blue Cheese Dressing.

Serves 4 to 6

4	boneless, skinless chicken breasts (about 1 1/2 pounds), cut into 1 1/2-inch chunks
1/2	cup buttermilk
1	teaspoon salt
3/4	cup hot sauce (see note)
1/4	cup water
1/4	teaspoon sugar
1	tablespoon unsalted butter
1 1/2	cups cornstarch
4	large egg whites
1/2	cup all-purpose flour
1/2	teaspoon baking soda
4	cups vegetable oil

1. MARINATE Combine chicken, buttermilk, and salt in large zipper-lock bag and refrigerate 30 minutes or up to 2 hours. Combine hot sauce, water, sugar, butter, and 2 teaspoons cornstarch in saucepan. Whisk over medium heat until thickened, about 5 minutes.

2. COAT Whisk egg whites in shallow dish until foamy. Stir flour, baking soda, remaining cornstarch, and 6 tablespoons hot sauce mixture in second shallow dish until mixture resembles coarse meal. Remove chicken from marinade and pat dry with paper towels. Toss half of chicken with egg whites until well coated, then dredge chicken in cornstarch mixture, pressing to adhere. Transfer coated chicken to plate and repeat with remaining chicken.

3. FRY Heat oil in Dutch oven over medium-high heat until oil registers 350 degrees. Fry half of chicken until golden brown, about 4 minutes, turning each piece halfway through cooking. Transfer chicken to paper towel-lined plate. Return oil to 350 degrees and repeat with remaining chicken.

4. TOSS Warm remaining hot sauce mixture over medium-low heat until simmering. Combine chicken and hot sauce mixture in large bowl and toss to coat. Serve.

MAKE AHEAD: Freeze with Ease
This dish freezes beautifully. In step 3, fry each batch of chicken until light golden brown, about 2 minutes. Drain and cool chicken on paper towel-lined plate, then transfer to freezer. Once chicken is completely frozen (this should take about 2 hours), transfer it to zipper-lock bag and freeze for up to 1 month. (Freeze the sauce separately in an airtight container for up to 1 month.) When ready to serve, heat 4 cups oil to 350 degrees and fry the chicken in 2 batches until deep golden brown, about 2 minutes, turning each piece halfway through cooking. Reheat sauce in microwave or in saucepan over medium-low heat until warm. Toss chicken with sauce as directed. Serve.

 

The street in our neighborhood is plowed - you can see the pavement.  I made the stupid assumption that the roads to the gym - a mere 1.1 miles away - would be fine as well.  I decided to get up to the gym and burn off some energy.  I should also point out that I was motivated by Stewart's mean-little-boy comment.  Last night he asked me, "When you met dad, where you skinny?  You should lay off the nachos."  It was funny when he said it - but then it dawned on me, exactly how many times he has called me "chummy" in the last month.  And it hurt my feelings.  So I went.  Not that this one workout would make me any less "chummy" but I might feel a little bit better about myself.

Getting out of the neighborhood was fine.  But everything else was so not.  The road right outside of our neighborhood was bad.  It was really just ruts in the road.  It was kinda scary.  I wasn't sure what I was going to do if another car started coming down in the opposite direction.  Nevertheless, I made it to the gym.  All was well.  Aside from the 2 staffing the gym, there was only 4 other people there (myself excluded.)  Their TV's were out (Direct TV) and the radio was out as well.  It was really weird, and quiet.  Quiet with the exception of the rhythmic thump thump thump of someone running on the treadmill.  As I was on the treadmill, I reached up to grab the towel to wipe my sweaty brow - this knocked off my cellphone.  It went flying off the back of the treadmill, landing in pieces.  Gym staff picked it up for me and reassembled it.  I finished my workout, sat in the sauna for 5 minutes and put my rubber boots back on.

I got in the car and was all ready to go home.  I was worried about what I was going to tell Bill.  I didn't want him to go running on the roads because they were not safe.  As I turn back onto the road, the road with all of the snow ruts, I see that there is a truck stopped in the middle of the road.  I didn't think he was stuck - I made my second stupid assumption.  I thought someone was taking a picture.  It was beautiful.  As I came around the corner, I could see about 6 cars stopped.  We waited and waited.  I tried to call Bill but realized that my battery was missing from the phone.  (Probably stuck under some treadmill.)  No one moved.  So I got out to find out what was wrong - there was some little car stuck in the middle of the road.  The ruts were too deep and the car wasn't budging.  Not even with big men pushing.  So they decided that we should back up the road because no one was going to be able to get past the stuck car.  This scared me.  This is a hilly road and it's not straight.  I'm not the best backer-upper.  But I thought, "Just go slow.  You can do it!"  well I got stuck - but I managed to unstuck myself.  and then I got stuck again.  This time it required a nice man trying to drive the car while me and another nice man tried to push.  That's right - Me.  In my rubber boots, no coat, capri pants and a long sleeve shirt - out there trying to push my car out of the snow I put it in.  (It's funny, right!)  

While we were doing this - cars and trucks continued to try to go down the road - as I stupidly did - and they got stuck trying to turn around.  Once everyone cleared the way - I got in the car with the guy who was going to back the car up the hill for me.  Well, he got stuck.  Not enough traction to make it up the hill  (note to self: don't try to ride your bike to the gym, the hill is brutal.)  So i got out.  Enter: 2 other nice men.  All three of us pushing the car up the hill.  The man driving, gets it turned around and I drove it and parked it at the gym.  I went inside the gym and FINALLY found the cell phone battery.

I parked the car at the gym and gave in.  I took a few non-essentials out of my gym bag, grabbed my wallet, ipod, and water bottle, and proceeded to walk home.  It was really cold.  I was sweaty from my work out, my legs were really tired, I hadn't eaten, and here I am walking home.  Lucky for me, one of the nice men that helped push the car drove by and he offered me a ride hom.  His house is across the street from our neighborhood.  He was very kind.  When we pulled into the driveway, Bill was outside, cleaning off the Jetta - and the man told him that he (Bill) should give me some driving lessons when it warms up.  "She can't backup!"

I am just a little bit exhausted and tired.  I actually think I was contributing to pushing the car up the hill.  I know I was trying really hard.

Sorry everyone.  I had to turn them off.  The spam comments that get left on my blogs are annoying - epicly annoying.  And it's not like 1 or 2 per day.  It's more like 50.  And it isn't just spam left on my most recent posts - it's all of them from all the way back to when i started.  It's a big waste of my time and did I mention how annying it is to have to go in and delete all of them.

So - they are turned off, probably until we rebuild the site.  You are always welcome to drop me an email. (Which implies that if I actually wanted your comments, you would know how to reach me.)

1.  I have a crappy memory.  I make lists for everything: groceries, bills paid, assignments to do, things to do while on vacation.  I just don't have a good memory.  But I do remember the very first Bath and Body Works lotion that I ever bought.  I was in the 7th grade.  The scent was Pineapple Mango.  It was the beginning of my love affair with overpriced, overscented lotions, cream, and shower gel.  I don't buy much Bath and Body works because I have found other products that I like better (for example, the Margarita shower gel and salt scrub by Phiolsophy smells sooo amazing, it will make you thirsty.  It is the reason why I wanted to try margaritas.  Until that shower gel, I was anti-tequila but the Philosophy product smelled soo good.  You will be tempted to taste it.  Anyway, I digress!)  I still like to walk through the store and look at all of the new scents they are selling - and I always have to ask someone if Happy Daisy will be back anytime soon (Happy Daisy is my all time favorite scent they have ever had.)  So yesterday, parker and I were walking around the mall and as I walked by the Bath and Body Works store, there was this awesome smell, beckoning me to come in.  So I go in, ask if Happy Daisy will be out for the spring (no) and then I ask her what is the smell that I could smell as I walked by.  I assumed it was just a combination of all the smells - and not just a particular one.  She told me it's a candle and this essential oil burner thing they have at the counter.  The smell: PINEAPPLE MANGO!!!!!!  And for just a second, as i stood there with the candle up to my nose, I felt young and careful.  Just for a second.  Parker started grabbing things off the shelf - that quickly brought me back to reality.  There might be a chance for Happy Daisy to come back.  And if it does - I will be buying a lifetime supply of it.

2.  Recipes - I have some ones that I have made but haven't had time to add into my blog.  Chicken Tikka Masala,  Basmati Rice Pilaf, and Slow-cooked Roast Beef.  But - I gotta lay off the cooking for a little bit.  Even with me going to the gym 3-4 times a week, I still GAINED EIGHT POUNDS LAST MONTH!  And I attribute that to all of the rich cooking that I have been doing.  Or maybe I will just make less rich recipes?  I'm not sure.  I am addicted to this new cookbook.  One day, while waiting for Stewart at the busstop, I flipped through it and flagged all of the recipes that I wanted to make.  It's all goodness.

3.  Music - I don't usually buy an entire album.  Of anything.  EXCEPT soundtracks.  (I have blogged before about my weird love of soundtracks.)  Now with iTunes, I can just buy whatever songs I like.  Occasionally I will buy an entire album but it has to be from someone that is on my trusted music list (U2, Marron 5, Carrie Underwood, Vanessa Carlton, Michelle Branch/the Wreckers, Matchbox 20, The Frey, Snow Patrol, Lily Allen, James Morrison, and John Mayer.)  So I was flipping through the cd case that I have in the car and I pulled out a "mixed-tape" that I had labeled at 07-17-08.    It was good music and it reminded me of really good songs that I had forgotten about.  But it also automaticly made me think of summer and warmth and the beach.  There wasn't anything summer specific about the music, and then it dawned on me.  That was a playlist that I made in July!  Somehow just hearing the music made me think of summer and warm thought - probably because I listened to it a TON during the July of 2008.  Funny how the mind works like that.